All of us have downloaded a blueprint in our subconscious mind of “How It Really Is” – our belief system is like the architectural blueprint for a house – that someone else designed. Whether it’s love, health, friends – or any other aspect of our life – how we’re raised, the lessons we’re taught, and our home environment, all form this blueprint.

And this blueprint is reinforced with habitual thoughts, language, and feelings, and so it becomes our reality. However, just as with any architectural blueprint, we can change our mind’s framework if the one we have is not producing the results we seek.

If we want to know how to overcome fear and move to love, the first step is to understand our current blueprint and what we can do to change it. Changing our mind about anything is hard work, but the realization that we CAN change our mind – and therefore our life – is the start.

This is not magical thinking, but science – neuroplasticity. New neural pathways are formed in our brain as we learn how to overcome fear by changing habitual thoughts, language and feelings from fear to love. So let’s quiet our doubting mind, try the simple exercises below, and see what transpires.

 Example of how to overcome fear by responding with love:

• Fearful Thought: I can’t make money.
• Loving Response: Love did not create lack, and so it is not real.

Then, throughout the day, police the mind for deep-down limiting beliefs that are obstacles to love. Carry a journal and write them down.

Exercise #2 for How To Overcome Fear – Take a Fearless Inventory

In order to learn how to overcome fear and find our truth, we have to analyze what in our life feels right and in line with our authentic self, and what does not (what we do out of feelings of obligation or fear).

Knowledge and desire to change what is not working in our life is the first step to creating a life we LOVE where fear informs but does not dominate. This second exercise will teach us how to overcome fear by stockpiling an inventory of fearlessness!

Ask “what do I want?”

• Draw a line down the center of a sheet of paper.
• On the top left side of the line, write, “What do I want more of in my life?”
• Then write the following categories, leaving some space between each to fill in what you want – school/career, love, finances, health & wellness, family, fun, spirituality, other.
• On the top right column, write, “What do I want less of in my life?”
• Take some time to fill out what you want more and less of for each category. When you’re finished, tear the paper along the centerline, and safely burn (or tear up) the “want less” list, releasing its energy from your life.

Exercise #3 for How To Overcome Fear – The Five Fold Why

As Josh Kaufman explains in his book, The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business, “very often we’re not consciously aware of why we want what we want.” In order to learn how to overcome fear, we need to know the motivations behind our desires.

So let’s apply Kaufman’s “Five Fold Why” exercise to the things we decided we want in exercise #2. Don’t try to force an answer – just ask the question in a spirit of curiosity and the mind will generate an authentic response.

When the mind provides an answer, ask “why?” again. Continue to ask why until the response is, “because I want it”, which indicates this is the root cause of our goal.

Here’s an example of the Five Fold Why when we think we want to lose weight:

1. Why do I want to lose weight? Because I want to look better.
2. Why do I want to look better? So I don’t feel anxious.
3. Why don’t I want to feel anxious? So I feel secure?
4. Why do I want to feel secure? So I feel free.
5. Why do I want to feel free? Because I want to feel free.

So, the root desire isn’t losing weight – it’s feeling free.

Exercise #4 for How To Overcome Fear – The Five Fold How

After applying the Five Fold Why, we’ll likely discover that what we actually want is quite different than what we thought we wanted. Now that we’ve identified the root cause of our original goals, it’s time to figure out how to overcome fear and get what we actually want.

The Five Fold How is a way to connect our core desire to physical actions. Let’s use the previous example: the core desire is to feel free. Is it possible to feel free without losing weight? Absolutely – there are many ways to feel free that have nothing to do with a scale. So let’s take an alternative approach that addresses the real desire.

Ask “how might I go about feeling free?”

1. Pay off an outstanding debt.
2. Reduce my work hours, find another position, or become an entrepreneur.
3. Start a meditation practice.
4. Move to a new city or country.
5. Break off a restricting personal relationship.

Once we find a “how” that looks like a good idea, ask “how” again. Let’s say starting a meditation practice would give us the greatest sense of freedom. How would we go about doing that? Continue asking “how” until next actions are clearly defined. The purpose of the Five Fold How is to create a complete chain of actions from our real desire all the way down to things we can do right now.